Taking The Stress Out Of The Holiday Buffets – Parties
The holidays can be incredibly magical, but they can also be a lot. When you are navigating them as someone who is gluten-free, it can feel even heavier. Between the usual family chaos and figuring out what is safe to eat (hello, mystery gravies), the stress can build up quickly. Let’s dive into some common holiday settings and how we can make each one feel a bit easier.
Supportive vs Unsupportive Families
Let’s start with navigating family gatherings. Everyone’s family is so different from the next. Some are incredibly supportive, but others may not fully understand what being gluten-free means or how it affects your body. If this is your first gluten-free Christmas, you may have already told your family about your needs, and they may be able to make adjustments as needed. If you are in a situation where your needs cannot be met or taken seriously, things may get a bit trickier. You have every right to feel safe and included no matter your age, diagnosis length, or preferences. It is okay to set firm boundaries with family and bring your own 100% safe food.
Your Friends
Next, let’s talk about eating with your friends at Christmas parties. The people you surround yourself with should be more than supportive of you and all your needs. If you are the lucky one who has those friends who do research, find all of those gluten-free goodies, and surprise you with them, you have hit the friend jackpot! On the other hand, if you have friends who do not take the time to learn or find safe foods for you, then it may be worth reflecting on whether your friends understand how important gluten-free safety is to your health. Your health should come first in all cases, so find those people who will treat you and your gluten-free needs with respect. You deserve to feel included and supported no matter what. Don’t ever be afraid to offer to host or suggest a GF safe spot; sometimes your friends do want to help but may feel unsure how.
Catering
Finally, let’s take a dive into how to handle the catering for holiday events. For some families, catering is an absolute lifesaver. It means fewer dishes, less stress for the hosting member, and ways to feed everyone with different preferences. When it comes to your gluten-free needs, however, it adds a new kind of stress for you. If someone is in charge of ordering, be sure to communicate your needs and ask about what safe options they have available. Good questions to ask would be if the items are cooked in a shared fryer or any shared equipment, since they are the most common places for hidden gluten. If the place you are catering from cannot guarantee safe food for you, talk with your group about new places to cater from, or just make sure to bring yourself some safe homemade food. This is not you being difficult; it is about keeping you safe and advocating for yourself.
Saying No and Advocating
Even when you plan and prepare yourself for the stress, there are times when the stress gets away from you and that is okay. Here is how we deal with the moments of “Is this gluten-free?” or “I know they said it is safe, but is it really?” It is ALWAYS acceptable to say no thank you. As hard as it can feel, your safety is far more important than someone’s feelings about a dish. If something is making you uncomfortable, it is okay to say “I’m going to skip this because I do not feel comfortable. I really appreciate your offer though!” or a more polite version which could sound like “I’m going to skip this one just to be safe, thank you so much for thinking of me!” and that is it. Nobody is owed further explanation, ever. If someone feels the need to argue with you, remember it reflects them, not you. Distancing yourself from negative people, family or not, is always valid.
A Special Note from Me to You!
Stay safe during this holiday season, and if any questions arise from specific things to say or a new recipe, feel free to reach out! You’re never alone in navigating this; we are always here to help! We wish you lots of love and an incredibly joyful Christmas time!
Devyn